Aging parents need extra support and care as they get older. While some would prefer to stay in their own home as long as they can, often, they need help that they might not be getting.
But how can you go about making this transition without upsetting everyone?
It’s a tricky situation, and it’s easy to get overwhelmed and worried about the welfare of your parents. That’s why it’s important to know the right steps to take in providing elderly care so that the transition is as smooth as possible, and no one gets left out.
Check out this article for seven essential tips on caring for aging parents.
1. Patience and Understanding
Your parents are going through a time in their lives that they would not have wanted if they had a choice. Think they like to annoy you with their constant dementia confusion? Their neverending questions? Their mood swings?
They don’t, and if they had their way, they wouldn’t want you to go through what you have to go through just to take care of them. So give them as much patience and understanding as possible. They need it.
2. Respect
Throughout your years, your parents have been there for you, supporting you and giving you all the help you need. Whether it was picking your outfit for your first date or choosing a career path, they were there to make things easier.
For that alone, your parents deserve your utmost respect. They’ve earned it. Even if they were far from model parents, the fact that you came into this world through them is more than enough for you to give them the respect they deserve.
3. Helpfulness
If your parents are still living by themselves, at least, be there to help them with anything that you can give. For example, do errands for them, clean the house for them, or cook for them.
As older parents, they usually need all the help they can get, even if they say otherwise. So make it a point to help them out in the house when you come by, and make your visit count for them.
Even if they don’t ask you to do their dishes or sweep their backyard, do it. In fact, if they don’t ask and you still do it, that makes them feel even more special.
4. Warm Presence
There’s a difference between visiting your parents and helping them out in the house and – actually spending time with them. Helpfulness is great, but beyond that, you want to sit down and have some moments with them.
Maybe have some talks about fond memories of your family when you were kids. Or catch some nice movies on Netflix together. Have a few laughs and high-fives.
You don’t even have to talk. Just being there with each other doing something you both love should do the trick. They may not say it, but this is probably the best thing you could do for them – even better than getting them the best doctors or the best health care for seniors.
5. Unending Support
Aging parents tend to want to be left alone, not because they want to be alone but because they don’t want to bother their children with care duties. That doesn’t mean though that you should let them.
Show your parents that you are there to provide them with your unending love and support and that you will do that for as long as possible. Again, make them feel that you’re doing it because they mean a lot to you and that you’re not acting out of obligation.
6. Honesty
Let’s face it. Taking care of the elderly can get the better of us sometimes. This is especially true when they become very difficult to handle. For example, they become unreasonable or even violent.
Be honest with them anyway about your feelings while being careful not to offend them. Sometimes, they just need to hear that you’re suffering, and they will try to improve themselves.
They may still have those episodes, but you know that they know how you feel, and that somehow makes it easier for you.
7. Just Being There
Ultimately, the most important thing you can do is to be there for your parents. They need you now more than ever. They may not realize that you’re there, but that doesn’t change the fact that you are, and that’s what matters.
Very importantly, try to make them feel that you’ll be there for them no matter what. Sometimes, that’s all they need to hear, especially at a time in their lives when they may feel like a candle burning out.
Never give them a chance to feel that. Always remind them that you’re around for them always, just as they were there for you when you were young. It helps them fight the loneliness and feel more at ease about old age.
Caring for Aging Parents Beyond Need
At the end of the day, you want to show that caring for aging parents is something you’re willing to do beyond need. Instead, it’s something that you do naturally because you love them.
You may think it doesn’t matter, but it does. Old as they may be, they are still human with all the human capacity to feel. They would know that you’re there because you really want to be, and sometimes, that’s all that matters to them at this stage in their lives.
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